Day 16- Music: The Beautiful Disturber of Air

Currently my ears are scarred due to never taking out my Ipod and yet, the only thing on my mind is how long it'll be before they heal so I can put them back in.....

 I'm not antisocial, I promise, I just love my music. It can inspire and relax all with the press of the next button. Artist may take alot of crap for the happenings in their personal lives, but I just don't know quite what I'd do without them. Why yes, I do sing in the shower, but god forbid the day anyone other than my family and roommate have to listen to that. 

Honestly I'm a fan of everything, unless of course, I'm cringing more than 3x before the chorus plays. No, but really, I just have to be in the mood for it. Can you imagine watching a movie without music? The only thing scary about scary movies nowadays is the music. Hmmm maybe being in the hospital warps that opinion just a tad bit.

Oh? So you have 50 murderous stab wounds to the chest with blood and some strange bodily fluid rushing out of them ?

 Seen it.

Next.

I used to play the alto saxophone when I was little; played the hell out of Hot Cross Buns too. Don't judge me readers, I loved that song and I played it with exuberant amounts of passion. I'm sure most of us were made to music. Ode to Al Green (and many others) for increasing the population in the '70's. Thanks for Michael Jackson, period. I pay hommage to 90's gangsta rap for providing me with lyrical ammo to spit at all my haters. Here's to R&B: good R&B music will remain my favorite genre til the day I die.   

Thank you Music for uniting people regardless of color, creed and background, not completely, but for the length of a song or a concert;  for a moment in time we're just fans. I love how you can describe my life in words more eloquently than I can. Girls just wanna have fun? I know right! Thanks for getting me through some of life's worst moments and giving me the extra sprinkle of hope I sometimes need. Here's to boy bands. I'll always love you Kevin, Aj, Nick, Brian, Howie, Justin, Lance, JC, Joey and Chris. You were the demi gods of my pre-teen years. Here's to my facebook statuses (which are about 90% lyrics) because I've just ran out of things to say these days.  I'll always make time for you music. You. Complete. Me.

Reese

Day 15: Friendship

"There may be big ships and small ships but the best ship of all is Friendship"

According to the average person, good people are hard to come by. Guess I'm one lucky bastard. It would be awesome if I could measure exactly how much of a better person I've become since these 4 people have walked into my life. I don't want to limit my post to my BFF's only. I have some really great friends in general. My brothers; my friends from high school who've I've managed to develop even stronger friendships with, college buddies and coworkers. I'm blessed with all types of positive people.

I remember my BFF Ashley once telling me that sometimes all you really need in life is one good friend. Truest statement since E=mc2. A friend is a person who you enjoy being around with with no alterior motives; not to network through or borrow from. A friend is someone you trust, can depend on, a supporter of your goals and dreams and hopefully someone that loves ya on some type of level. They don't always agree or believe in the same principles you may stand for, but you can always bet they'll respect them. The best thing I respect and thank my friends for is keeping me a humble, thankful person. A good friend will let you know if they think you're accepting less than what you deserve regardless if its your own wrong doings or someone else pulling the strings.

Sometimes we have to let our friends go, no matter how good and great they are. I'm a strong believer in people taking sufficient time to figure out who they are even if that means figuring it out without you. The hardest part may be walking away, but you never know, Love is a many splendid thing. If its geniune, I'm positive there'll be a way to reunite when the time is right. We can't control everything, sometimes its the experiencing part that matters (some more wise words from my BFF). So here's to my friends and your friends for just being friends. Damn, you make life so sweet.

Reese

Day 14: Siblings

Yep. Can't live with them, sure as hell can't live without them. Day 14, you're all about my bro and sisters.

One thing about being apart of my large family is silence, it doesn't exist. At least not in our house it doesn't. In the 23 years I've been alive, I've yet to remember a day where there was peace and quiet, even sleep was loud because surely, 3 out of the 5 of us was snoring like we were breathing our last breaths. I'm blessed with 4 wonderful, irreplaceable hermanitos. All indistinctively unique in their own light. My parents often remind me that I complained everytime one was born (I'm the oldest). Selfishness is a character flaw of mine btw but I was out of my mind in those days. Once I moved off to college they were the very first people I missed more than anything else. I have to add my cousin to the mix, she's sort of a sister too and equally missed.

Many of my greatest memories include my siblings. I mean, what's not to love about them? Who would I have to test out my cookin on? Because of them I can watch cartoons without feeling guilty for being a college student and grown ass woman. No one will ever tell you about yourself like a sibling. They don't hold back nothing (and I really wanna say shit just for the much needed emphasis) and they usually know your triggers to so they know exactly which buttons to press lol. Sometimes ya fall out; people change and everyone needs time to grow into who they're supposed to be, but even reuniting with a sibling outshines reuniting with friends in my experience. I've changed a diaper or two, babysitted alot, fought with, imagined a many of ridiculous games with, cried with, and laughed non-stop with these people. I hope they're reading this and looking back on those "lets see who can stay quiet for 5 minutes" games of back in the day, most pointless game ever ( I think our parents invented that game to be honest). The best thing about my siblings is that they accept and love me in all of my flaws, no frontin with family!

Thanks guys! Its good to know I'll always have minions to do my evil work.

Reese

Day 13: Life

Oh the things we take for granted. I spent the entire day thinking about what I'd like to dedicate Day 13 to. It actually just hit me sitting here at the computer. I'd like to share a tale of a girl who wasn't always so happy and almost did the unthinkable, no bullshit, I promise lol. This is sort of a confessional story, remembrance to those who've fallen and possibly hope to other inflicted folk.

According to TWLOHA (To Write Love On Her Arms, a non-profit organization dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.) there's an estimated 19 million Americans suffering with depression, two out of three never get the medical attention that they need, and often more times than not, this leads to suicide (twloha.com). I'm really sorry if you came to my blog today looking for the bubbly Reese Nicole. I promise, she'll be back tommorrow, I can wake you when she gets here but I'd like to take a second and be thankful for still having the most sacred of entities I'll ever posses.

 Life.

Its been almost a year and half since I was first diagnosed with clinical depression. I can say I'm most unrecognizable by most nowadays. I'm doing fairly well, but I remember the times when I stayed near the darkness, never socialized, always slept, hated life and sometimes attempted to take it. You see, at the time the thing I didn't understand about my own depression was that I didn't control it. It was an energy wave, a cycle I had to learn to track. It swept into my life at the most unfortunate of times too. I feared being my own worst enemy. Everyday of happiness just meant one step closer to meeting an old bully.

Oh why hello Depression, I've been expecting you.
 Please, come in, take a seat.
 Would like some tea?

Not to be dramatic, but that's sort of how it went. I've spent the past year and a half working on doing everything I physically can to stay one step ahead of the game. Sometimes I slip up. I'm still learning. For me personally, the common denominator was eliminating as much negativity as possible from my life. Sure, I probably hurt some feelings, let some down or even given up parts of my life I sometimes wish I could revisit but in the end I'm a much happier person and its much more visible to notice when it hits because of this. Blogging has been such an amazing experience so far, a much needed outlet. I'm quiet bored of journals to be honest.

I have to remind myself however that there are plenty of other people not so fortunate and as someone who walks this dark path often, I know how hard it is to juggle a mental illness and keep a smile or go about one's daily business. So I pray for all those facing these demons, their families and loved ones. Its hard, I know, but after the rain, no matter how long it pours, the sun eventually appears. Today, lets celebrate that.


Reese



Day 12: Mah Daddy!

Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express. ~Joseph Addison

For Day 12, I'd like to make a toast to my one and only Father.  If there's anyone in the world I couldn't be more thankful for it'd have to be Mom, but today Daddy, its you. Here's to raising me with the knowledge that a man can't take too many body shots to the ribs. That eventually boys will become bigger and stronger than me so its not a good idea to hit them because you'd hate to do time (but you would if you had to). That no decent man will ever marry me if I don't learn how to cook and that sometimes you have to put that jersey away and put on a dress for goodness sakes!  Here's to taking the remote control out of my hand and replacing it with an encyclopedia. "If you don't know a word, look it up, then use it in a sentence".  Yes, and teaching me that X-men shall always remain the most badass group of superheroes in existence.  That my fists won't always teach someone respect and surely my mouth will get me in some serious trouble one day, so I ought to think before I speak.  For furthering my inquisition of art, dance, literature and science. Thanks for hooking me on peanut butter pancakes and watching Saturday morning cartoons, every Saturday morning, like clockwork.  For practicing cheers with me, and those `Nsync dolls, yeah, I want those back now. Thanks for always waiting for me at the bus stop so I wouldn't get hurt walking home, even if we only lived only a block away and regardless of how late, cold, rain or snow; weather was irrelevant. Thanks for making me into a Warrior, a stone cold killa grrrr, supa Ninja, power ranga: tough on the outside but soft like fresh playdough on the inside. For wiping my tears away when I broke up with my first boyfriend, second...third.....you catch my drift.  Thanks for kickin my ass when I needed it, some kids just need a whoopin and a hug, I needed many but in other news, bestestest of all, thank you for never letting me justify any excuse to not perform at the highest level possible. I really may be rich one day, I won't forget what you've done, I'll buy you that house. So thanks Dad, here's to you!

Until tomorrow folks!

Reese

It's Never Too Late to Jump into the Game!!

Hey All! So I know I'm late to the game on this one, but one of my new favoritist bloggers,  Heather22 from Simply Living, has inspired me to take part in November's Day of Thanks series. It really is a great way to hold oneself to blogging. Yeah, its November 11th, so what, I'm still doing it lol. So in honor of the past 10 days I missed out on, I'll spice up Day 10 with an extra kick of sweetness. 

DAY 11: FALL

Dear Fall,

I Love You,

Reese

 Where to start?

Up until this year I always considered myself a Fall baby, that is until a special someone, cough..cough..Vincent, ruined my happiness and informed me that September 7th is still summer. Clearly, he's out of his mind though, so I'll write that off as irrelevant. From the change of colors to Halloween and Thanksgiving, Fall has given me some of the absolute dearest memories. I like to kickstart the season with Pumpkin Spice Lattes from good ole Starbucks. Oh Starbucks, you never do me dirty. The best color palettes are fall palettes: dark purples, navy, maroons, creams, oh yes, the list goes on. Don't get me wrong, pank (pink) is my favorite nailpolish color but tis the season to change it up and once I get these nails of mine to grow out some more, guess who'll be taking full advantage of the seasons newest shades?

Some other fab fall fashion lusts include coats and boots. I love a new winter coat, boots and matching purse like I love my Mama.  This Tommy Hilfiger ad makes me wish I had the salary to support my dreamworld bc I'd buy it all! Damn self supporting college student...

Food. Can't live with it, can't live without it. Run everyday, oh I will, but I sure will not pass up a candy apple or pumkin pie or Thanksgiving turkey. Nope, sure wont, so let's just bet on me gaining 10 lbs; Holiday weight for sure. There are soo many recipes I'm itching to try out, Pumpkin Cream Cheese brownies, sweet potato and apple pies oh my! Reminiscing on memories with Mommy cooking Thanksgiving dinner, I remember getting down in the kitchen like nobody's business;  my once a year treat to my family; they say I'm selfish, I say I cook, what more do you want (joke of course)?  

Good Friends. Yeah, this could really apply to any season but ever notice how the last few months of the year just bring people together in ways Spring and Summer just can't compare to? People get nicer, humbler, more giving and lol more thankful. Those who've  pissed us off previously even sometimes get an occasional smile. I love Fall because it brings folks together and makes 'um appreciative of the little things (well, most people, we have to throw in the occasional Grump) and I'll tip my hat to plain old happiness anyday. Yep. I wish you could stay forever Fall.

 I love you.  

Reese

I Be's a Root Toot Tootin Damn Fool! Happy Halloweeny even if it is November 5th!

I hope you enjoyed your Halloween as much as I did down here in The Field, Mo. Seriously, I think I out do myself every year! For a long time I couldn't decide what to be. Honestly, IMO the slutty cop, maid, nurse thing has grown old with me, so when everyone takes it all off, I put more on. I'm not downing anyone. Hmmm take a trip down memory lane with me...

Lightyears before the whole Twighlight craze I spent every Halloween as a vampire; for 4 years to be exact. It was beyond obsession. My sophomore year of college I took a risk and tested out the "lets have an excuse to be nekkid" thing and went as a Playboy Bunny.  I loved it, it was fun, but my mom saw pics and cried lol sooooo it was good while it lasted lol. Last year I went as a Mad Scientist. It took alot of out me to step out with no makeup, green afroed hair and waisthigh pants and suspenders, yet ironically it was a smash at the costume party. In fact, I took 2nd place in a contest (I was out shined by some girl in my baby sister's Miss Muffet costume...go figure).

This year I just wanted to dance..um, without my feet hurting by 12 'o clock. Here's the best thing about all of this, I show up at the club and half of my friends went as cowboys too! Who'd of thunk? We were a mean gang of desperados partna.

Anyways, Springfield has an annual Halloween pub crawl. I snapped a few pics for you all of some of the funnier costumes of the night.

Halloween was an epic success I'll always remember. Can't wait til next year!